WOMBAWAKENING NYC - Words from the Well

Diving into Feminine Darkness: An Unexpected Invitation During Quarantine

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 17:48:26 GMT

This past week I had been feeling so much pain and suffering. Feeling really depressed and wanting external validation and longing for tender loving care and consideration. I trembled at the thought of what would happen if I were to reveal how vulnerable I feel right now. Being seen in my vulnerability has been an especially delicate balance because of the nature of the work I do - my perception of the work I do with people. I experienced my thoughts, about what 'who I am' should look like, confining and imprisoning me. Psychologically and spiritually quarantined.

I am a mother. My life consists primarily of meeting the needs of my children, and all the tangential time-consuming tasks related to their well-being. During the time I carve out for myself I focus on continuing my growth as an embodied spirit. For over a decade, I have been working with the themes of Trust and Control - and how these pertain to both my inner world and my relationships.

Years later, I am still working with Trust and letting go of Control - even after studying and becoming a practicing minister, psychospiritual therapist, womb awakening mentor/priestess/facilitator, mindfulness meditation teacher, and essentially being a perpetual student of mind and body and spirit, All of these defining descriptions about who I am do not really matter. Except that they impose limits on the limitless possibilities of being and becoming - as long as I think they do.

The evolutionary shift out of this powerful spiraling journey came as I chose to move toward that pain and suffering, to be seen by friends in my community and online circles. I dove in, felt it all, surrendered to the Divine Feminine, removed my mask, embraced my self, and then I felt better. This is what happens when we face the monster rearing its ugly head (there is so much judgement and fear in those well-known words): the monster and the fear are transformed and transmuted.
No longer viscerally frightened about fully being seen, here I am and this is my experience...

I had a dream that preceded these feelings. In it and upon waking, I laughed at myself, my inner voice saying, I am a “disaster”. But now that word is reverberating negatively inside of my being. “I am a disaster”... Living through a time of disaster such as this COVID-19 crisis, I am beginning to identify the current “other” within me, to see all that I name out in the world as a disaster, mirrored within my psyche. Intimately familiar with these subtle inner processes, I am aware of being on the precipice of transformation. It always feels most dangerous and frightening looking into the gaping abyss rising up to meet me, before the expansive feeling of growth and renewal cycle around again. Another big layer of ego and conditioning getting ready to dissolve and be shed feels like hell.

Observing my thoughts over the years, I’ve identified so many self judgements....about natural imperfections, about my intelligence, about my ability...all the things that were criticized during my upbringing in the name of helping me be better. Without the usual interruptions and noise of the world as I remain quarantined at home, I have had time to do more mindfulness practices and gardening. What I am free-falling toward in the absence of external distractions? As I look and listen closely to the thoughts and noise within (and tend to the soil) what surfaced from the depths within me now is the layer of “I will never be good enough”. I want to take this heavy cloak off immediately but it’s wet and heavy and forces me to be with it, to know it, feel its pain and listen to what it has to say. At first, even though I am doing so many beneficial, productive and healing activities while being supportive to my family, connecting with the earth and meditation practices, I feel completely defeated under its burdensome weight.

I guess usually I have a certain amount of energy dedicated to burning through this dense ego energy fabric but right now I realize that fire burning in the way that has helped me get to where I am in life this far has been an effect of my upbringing. The drive to excel itself has been cloaking the limitless resources of energy available to this body to create in this existence. The current experience has brought me face-to-face with the root, the heavy ball and chain whose enduring existence under my skin I can’t ignore. In the moments of resistance (days), it feels so painful that if I had felt the poignant depth of this pain at the root of which I spent my younger life numbing and avoiding (seeking pleasure instead of pain through cavorting, getting high and having sex), I might never have chosen to have kids who now must endure their mother going through this downward spiral of revisiting hellfire. If I didn’t know in my soul that these are lessons we have all agreed to help each other through, I might even say I ought to be one of those people who shouldn’t have kids. This is how blue I feel in that moment. I know it’s dark. This is my darkest shadow. Alchemy transmutes this energy into gold.

This new moon I plant the seed to embrace even this part of myself, and dare to be seen fully in this vulnerability, this naked aspect of my personal humanity. Can I be fully myself and not be judged? No, I don’t think so, the world of people being as we are. Can I surrender to the unconditional love of the divine within me and the universe? Yes. Can I feel this unwaveringly? I don’t know. Not yet. Maybe never. Probably it will always be in ebbs and flows of natural cycles. Even if I become fully self-realized in this lifetime? I don’t know yet. But this sharing has brought me to the next level of awareness in my personal journey and introduced me to some new practices of becoming which align synchronistically with this current and ongoing work of shedding the constraints of who I think I am.

This is the deepest dive I’ve taken in almost a decade. I am grateful for the diminishment of distracting errands to be able to sit this deeply within the being of my personhood. I am grateful for the experience. I am grateful for the friends and community I am blessed with to hold and witness me in my HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) human three-dimensional cycles of joy and pain.

I am removing the final mask. I share it publicly to reveal the naked truth of our shared humanity. Here I am, mothering myself. Validating myself because I know I will not find what I seek “out there” anywhere (everytime I feel that longing to seek it from another, I stop myself knowing the answer rests within me). Letting go of control of how I am perceived, I begin trusting I will love myself unconditionally even with or without these protective layers that distract me from my complete well-being. To be well is to have all inner parts of my psyche be in alignment with myself, true to the marrow of my bones and essence of my soul. These layers are the external raiments put upon me by societal expectations of what I should be resulting in polished masks covering all of who I am. As with theater and spiritual and religious rituals and customs, some masks may even serve to energize an archetypal aspect of myself but they, too, are not the whole of consciousness. And some of these masks do not belong to any part of me or anything which serves life in the multi-verse. The “I am not good enough” does not belong to the truth of my soul. “There is not a bit of truth in it” as my teacher, Julie Winters has quoted. It has become a mesmerizing illusion of someone else’s perception and value judgment which I began to believe about my selfhood.

In being revealed I am liberated of the weight of that heavy wet cloak of illusion. An unexpected gift of this unexpected invitation to explore the depths of my psyche, once again, has been a deeper connection to my womb. She is showing me even more ways she has not had her needs met by my distance. I am learning to listen, again, with new ears. I sense new nuances of her expression within me. She is happy to be removing these shackles. She wants to dance naked in the woods and sing and laugh and cry out to the open sky and embrace trees. For now, I will share this experience, from my vulnerable womb in quarantine.

In the scope of the world, I am one of the fortunate and blessed, privileged in my comfort and health and circumstances. As an empath, I cannot help but feel the pain and suffering in the world move through me - and with the guidance and reminder of my teacher I have made it a practice to transmute this heavy energy into light. My own, and that of others in the world. I take it in through the chambers of my heart and release it as flowers, seeds and light back out through the fourth chamber into the world.

Reflections Emerging from the Cauldron

Sun, 23 Sep 2018 17:37:23 GMT

Autumnal Equinox - Full Moon
September 2018

by Dhyana Kluth

My mantra lately has been, “I am Earth, I am Fire, I am Air, I am Water—I am an integral part of the universe.” I danced and sang, embodied and released this mantra into the wind and salty waters at a shamanic meeting of Wombs and Haras on the high holy day of September 19. After this return to our primordial and innocent essence reset, a new portal opened. I began to dream and menstruate as I entered a new cauldron of birthing.

Many ingredients bubbled in this immense cauldron of feeling—a non-verbal state of remembering and releasing, different than pre-verbal feelings, a stew of so much bubbling forth from the flames—that I was so much immersed in the experience of it to translate into words. Trusting this process I knew that words, followed by empowered actions, would return again as the cycle of shedding and emptying created space for the next new cycle budding growth and blooming.

A curious fog of old matter surfaced for transmutation and release during these last couple of days transitioning from Summer to Autumn. In this cloud of feeling, I returned again to a sense of how my ego has presented itself throughout my life; I observed how subtly this ego self still dances with my sense of being, even as I am continually becoming. As I let go to release what is ready to be released, I consciously released my grasp on those old ways of being which no longer serve Love and being in harmony with all life. Again and again, spiraling with this theme of letting go for many moons. There was ironically so much activity in the stillness of this most recent dense cloud cover!

I asked myself in the midst of this active stillness, “What exactly is my integral place in this universe at this time? What unseen vision is gestating next to be manifested? How am I to be of service now?”

Sometimes, in the midst of these kinds of slowly passing clouds, even as I trust and embrace the being with as I am, I might begin to feel anxious with wanting to do something, to be something, to take action, to produce and define, to clear the cobwebs and have clarity. But it is during these times I am called to simply be and listen deeper while the invisible weaving forms within and around me.

As it inevitably does, the cloud passes and the air clears and some new thing happens—as it did for me this morning: I received a call to action to which I replied, “Yes” with love and the clarity of right action. The arc of this experience reminded me of a refrain which has been repeating underneath all of this and even before this over the last couple of weeks; I keep coming back to this wonderful sentiment about how doing nothing will lead to the very best kind of something (from the movie I took my youngest daughter to see recently, Christopher Robin). Indeed, it does eventually.

This was my Autumnal Equinox becoming Full Moon experience. I wish you abundant blessings on this full moon with an encouragement to take the time to do nothing, be nothing, listen deeply, and trust this quiet process of becoming which we are all individually and collectively and acutely in the process of at this time. Go to the waters, allow yourself to be reflected back to you and drink from the restorative wellspring.

New Moon Mantra

Thu, 06 Sep 2018 17:31:12 GMT

by Dhyana Kluth

This September new moon falls on the 9th. One of my favorite magical Sacred numbers is 9. It is a number of birthing. It is the number of months we gestate in the womb, growing and forming from the codes of pure primordial energy. This can be a number to use when gestating the creation a new project, business, or practice. We can choose that number for the length of days to meditation on a mantra, to steep in an intentional field of resonance for a cycle of time. When our cycle is complete, we shed and release the bed we prepared in our womb to gestate life. We let go and return that energy to the toroidal flow of Source.

Energy accumulates in our womb, even energy we no longer need or which doesn’t serve our evolution in love. It can happen without our awareness and can have been there for years or much of our lives before we finally release it. One such example that I became aware of over the last few years culminated in a great release during a recent Temple of Feminine Arts retreat (which I wrote about in depth here- include link). Between 25 and 30 years ago I had three abortions which I was too out-of-body numb to feel or grieve—but the energy, the scar and imprint of the experience and the shadow memories of those souls I carried briefly, remained in my womb. It was during a powerful Dragon Shakti Breathing practice that I cleared my womb of this experience and completely shed the weight of that history. I healed the scars and physically birthed the shadows out of my womb and reintegrated them into the field of Pure Love, of Feminine Consciousness.

I mention this here now as I tune into the the annual Autumnal cycle of nature. The September new moon marks a new beginning with Rosh Hashanah followed by the high holy day of Yom Kippur which completes this reset cycle on September 19th, when we return to innocence as we connect with Divine Mother and feel her balm of forgiveness and unconditional love. It is another cyclical time to shed and release and clear and restore ourselves to our original blueprint of innocence. Let us keep shedding the uterine lining of our physical womb, and the womb of our auric field, our ka body. The dark of this new moon allows us to release, restore, and set a new intention.

I invite you to join me for nine days from September 9th through the 18th to repeat a daily mantra of innocence. It can be anything—something you are calling in to manifest about who you are becoming, or related to a project or business you are gestating—anything that the voice of your womb speaks as her truth when you tune in and listen deeply. Together our mantras will weave, and resound in the universe and the cosmic sacred womb circle we create between us, and gestates for nine days.

During the portal between the 17th and 18th I plan to dance and let it all go. I release what I cannot control and give it over to the universe. I will move with the abandon of my pristine untouched innocence, spiraling and shedding anything that remains to be released. I give it to the earth, to the fire, to the air and to the waters for renewal and transformation, returning to be integrated in the cyclical toroidal flows, with the aid of the elemental dragons which flow through all life, nourishing us with primordial power. I allow my DNA to dissolve, unravel and merge back into innocence, into the primordial waters of infinite possibilities, trusting in the flow of reweaving and continual birthing as Spirit wills all in divine time. On September 19th, let us sing and dance our liberating embodied return to innocence.

Dragon Shakti Resurrection of the Goddess

Thu, 02 Aug 2018 03:48:12 GMT

by Dhyana Kluth

At home with two young children I have very little space for the loud 45-minute wild ride that the fiery Dragon Shakti Breathing practice can be. That is why I gave myself the space to go on retreat and immerse myself in the safe space of a sanctified holy sacred circle. Here is my journal entry about what occurred during my Womb Awakening Dragon Shakti Breathing session there.

Temple of the Feminine Arts at Prama Institute, Asheville NC

Fertility Goddess Mother Shakti Dragon Healing

Breathing in, in, in. Exhaling out. I make the commitment to myself to keep breathing the dragon breath. Drop deeper and dive into the fire of the Dragon Shakti Breathing practice. I allow my body to undulate, tipping my pelvis as I exhale and arching my back—heart opening—as I inhale, inhale, inhale. This is what I came here to do. To be in my body. To feel. It’s safe to feel this now.

Breathing down, the breath of Dragon Shakti filling my root, pushing, descending, drawing out the muscle memory of sexual abuse, birthing the release of what was taken in, in an instant, so long ago. An instant of pain, confusion, not-knowing innocence, embarrassment and quiet, quiet, silent endless shame that shut down my body. I must not move. I must not breathe. I must not be seen. Nor heard.

Frozen. I commit to keep breathing. Then like the sudden urge to push, suddenly I breathe out a dragon fire of rage I didn’t even know I had held in my root for the sexual abuse I experienced, rage for the sexual abuse I didn’t even know to call sexual abuse, rage for the shame I endured and kept inside for 40 years. I was an active volcano dormant for 40 years suddenly woke and pissed off. An outraged She-Dragon incinerating the experience from her body. Ashes for the earth.

After touching and awakening and healing that place deep within my root, I felt the grief and sadness and love for the child within. So much love for her. I kept coming back to the sweetness of that love for myself as I birthed her out of my womb, she who endured and slept for 40 years, born covered in the black caul, the shadow that had enshrouded her all this time. A child within a woman’s body, newborn. I reached for her and brought her to rest on my heart in my embrace. I continue the Dragon Shakti Breathing practice while weeping sobbing tears of relief, still shedding grief in waves that release down and out of me, and feeling joy fill me, the joy of reunion and homecoming.

The powerful ride of breathing inside this Dragon was just getting started. As I continued to breathe and embrace and caress this woman-child I’d just given birth to, I began to feel something more wanting to birth from my womb. Over the next several minutes I birthed the shadow bodies of the first three babies that had lived within me but had been scraped from their nest in my womb while I was asleep. Literately and figuratively, I had been asleep, completely checked out and numb to the loss my body, spirit and feminine consciousness had experienced 29, 26 and 21 years ago. Recently, I have been wanting—yet resisting—to do a ceremony for them. Imagine the joy and gratitude I felt come over me as they were born on the breath of this dragon. As I did with my inner child, I reached for each tiny little black shadow and brought the three of them into my hearts’ embrace. All five of us together, held in the loving arms of Divine Mother.

As I continued breathing I became the Great Mother-Birther, a humongous larger-than-life Venus of Willendorf. I felt myself grow, expanding, filling the space of my body and ka body with huge round full breasts, and full round belly. I could feel the weight of me, of my enormous thighs and buttocks, and the heaviness of my shoulders resting deeply upon the earth. I continued the Dragon Shakti Breathing. I embodied the great fertility goddess that births all. The archetype of the universal mother.

I continued the breathing practice, sounding on the exhale this entire time. I began to let sound vibrate on the inhale too. Moving my hands across the massive body of this Earth Mother Goddess, caressing all her curves and mass, I began to laugh. Breathing in, in, in and then cackling, and then bellowing with laughter, laughter vibrating every particle of my being. Feeling the magnificence of feeling and being, alive and joyful. I don’t even know what the joke was that prompted the laughter — it was pure energy. The chi of joy flowing through my body with every breath. My body moving freely, newly liberated, resurrected, feeling my sensual aliveness with such a pleasure of embodiment. The shame had left me and in its place true freedom resounding in joy!

As my beautiful teacher, Sister Goddess Seren, says, our stories are sacred and they need to be told. The voice of our stories have the power to heal others in resonance.

We were born to embody this experience on earth, to feel great joy. It is our birthright and my prayer. My Dragon Shakti prayer of resurrection and rebirth. May it be rooted in the earth and birthed through the womb.

Dance with the Dragon Elements of Creation

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 20:21:20 GMT

by Dhyana Kluth

Temple of the Feminine Arts retreat at Prama Institute, Asheville NC

It’s been a day since the retreat ended and I am still here on this mystical mountainous wooded land, waiting for my ride to the airport, feeling like fresh nettle tea leaves that have been steeped in the cauldron of the Divine Feminine, green with juicy vibrant nourishing color. Yesterday I began to write about my experience the first day of the retreat. Today, I continue with my journey on Day Two of this beautiful immersion when I danced a cathartic dance with the Dragon Elements of Creation around the Womb Medicine Wheel.

Becoming the Earth, the element in the bottom of my womb, feeling her fertile heavy rootedness first before I felt the searing pain and devastating grief in the Womb of the Earth. But dancing as the dragon of the Earth’s global multi-dimensional fullness, I also felt her unwavering resilience, the strength of her immense body and soul, the power to carry her weight and hold the weight of us all on her Dragon Earth-body, and her ability to transmute our suffering and all that does not serve love into life-nourishing mulch, cyclicly welcoming our release. As she is restored, she restores us. I dance her dance, weep and grieve for her and celebrate her continual rebirth.

Embodying the Fire Dragon as I danced around the Womb Medicine Wheel, I welcomed the rising flow of the rivers of fire from the center of the Earth to flow up through me, igniting the masculine fire power of my right ovary. The raw energy of power that propels this liquid fire to jet upward from the depths of the Earth into the Air. The organizing principle of creation, the masculine gift of manifested action and direction which when combined with heart-centered love births beauty into the world.

Rising on the currents of Air the dragon soars with grace and purity, expansive wings outstretched, heart open, eyes open and all-seeing. My dragon tail and body gently rippling as I ride the swirling currents of Air. I could feel my ka body being cleared as the currents of Air caressed and cleansed and coursed through me, giving my being and body a feeling of lightness, ease, pleasure and joy. The wisdom of the Air element at the top of my womb also giving my body wisdom a discerning experience of continually returning to balance with harmony.

In the past when I’ve journeyed with the element of Water, I have been the rain and waterfalls descending from my flight in the heavens, like clouds dissolving. This time I found myself diving, plunging to be immersed in depths of this element with the dolphins and mermaids. Embodying the currents of water now, rippling my limbs—like the Fire, but this time in its opposite, descending and cooling flow—I swam underwater and was the Water. This receptive feminine quality of Water in the left ovary, teaches me to open to receive as the embodied Waters of nourishing Love course down my fluid arms and legs into my heart and womb, undulating in my oceanic body.

I come to rest in the center of my womb temple, the holy of holies, the Grail Rose where all elements of creation converge, my consciousness adrift in the void of the womb. I experience a palpable feeling that I am held with great love by the Great Mother.

The dragons are real. They are everywhere. The old myths and stories are codes for this quantum experience of the multi-dimensional life all around us and within us. When we journey with the Womb Mandala this way, we don’t need to decode the story. We are the story, we embody the message. The information we receive from these Elemental Dragons of Creation lives within us—because the dragons live within us. We are creation. It is time to awaken the dragons within.

The Gifts of Mary Magdalene

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 12:18:35 GMT

by Dhyana Kluth

I haven’t published an article here in a long while, busy with birthing new work, parenting, co-creating communities, unraveling mysteries and healing my body-Temple. As you all know and feel, it has been a potent and intense time as we’ve been journeying through an evolutionary portal together on this planet. So I said yes to diving into some self-care, away from the family—away from my kids for four days for the first time in over ten years since I became a mother. During this retreat I allowed myself to be held by Divine Mother and received a blessing from Mary Magdalene. I wish to share this gift with you. This is my journal entry about what happened.

Temple of the Feminine Arts at Prama Institute, Asheville NC

Pelvic Presence with Mary Magdalene

During the full moon lunar eclipse I attended this sweet retreat to rest and restore myself in the divine waters of the feminine dimension as Seren Bertrand, and Azra, hold space for connecting to Source like no other. They set the example with the work they share, the medicine for my womb-heart, yoni and soul. My mind, the masculine organizing impulse to record and take notes and document and write ideas and translate insights sat this one out for the entire 3 nights and 3 days. It is only now, with some discipline that I write to record some of the experience before it becomes more illusive to the conscious mind, like a dream that returns again and again over time.

Thursday night, after dinner, we gathered in circle outside on the lawn overlooking the garden and wooded hillside for an orientation before entering the temple dome for our opening circle. We were many women and four couples, some familiar faces and some I knew only on Facebook womb circles before now.

The first experience I want to share came as a complete surprise during a simple body mindful awareness practice I’ve done many times before and had never had visions during - not that I can recall. The gentle Womb Awakening Pelvic Presence practice has brought up and allowed me to release feelings before, and gain insight, but never have I received the gift of what happened as I lay there connecting to my womb and opening space in my pelvis. Mary Magdalena came to me. I saw her approach and stand near my feet on my right. She wore her long robes and veil of deep reds and smiled tenderly, lovingly, radiating love and compassion. She has visited me before over the years, sometimes with Yeshua, and I’ve been feeling her call strongly especially over the last year. I have been working with the medicine she brings to the world, with the medicine she brings to me; the balm of forgiveness, surrender, sacred sexuality, the red river of liberated sensuality, the untethered body and flow of Shakti, the blossoming red rose and the blue Magdalene rose of compassion for self and other, the purifying healing tears of all that wants to be felt and held in love. She calls me to listen deeply to my womb, to reawaken my womb and yoni to the Shakti flow of unconditional love in this temple tree of life that is my earth-body, to embrace the innocent sensuality of my body, the holy whore —in its entire beautiful wise essence of the word— to embrace the gift of my embodied, liberated, shameless sexuality.

What happened next I will never forget as I surrendered to receive her message this time. She straddled me, embraced me and nuzzled my face sweetly, and sat back and began gently womb pulsing me, her womb Shakti flowing down through her yoni to bless my womb and pelvis, body and being as I wept at her beautiful, generous, loving energy. I surrendered to the pulsing of my womb, allowing it to revive parts of my pelvic floor and vulva I didn’t even realize where numb, feeling the gentle pulsing also aiding my digestive flow in the lower intestines! As she continued pulsing, her torso rippling rhythmically, free and sensual, with embodied Love, I felt the pulse flow through my body, clearing blocks and increasing my womb light —what I saw in a previous vision as a lighthouse beacon whose design is to beam out and share the healing medicine of this light of divine feminine into the world, to radiate heaven on earth.

During that previous vision, a man with a white headscarf dressed all in white gave me a light, inside the lotus flowering room at the top of the lighthouse, and told me I already know what to do with it. I discovered his name is Sai Baba of Shirdi, believed to be an incarnation of Lotd Shiva. This same man wearing the white headscarf showed up during this pelvic presence experience with Mary Magdalene. While Magdalena pulsed my womb, he knelt beside my right side and held his palms above my womb-heart, radiating light-healing and light-generating seiki on my womb-heart, smiling warming at me and then focusing his gaze on the healing Spanda blessing he was facilitating. As Mary Magdalene pulsed and Sai Baba gave me seiki, the light of my womb grew visibly bright and expanded outside my body and all around me, filling my ka body and expanding out into the universe.

The pulsing flow of chi came up against the resistance of my left side which I’ve been consciously spiraling with for about twenty years - since I sprained my left ankle. (The historical specifics of all of that is another story in itself which though related I won’t go into detail here.) At this point Kuan Yin appeared on my left side in a blue kimono with her hair swept up in the old fashion, touched my right shoulder with her right hand and gazed at me with such love and compassion and sorrow for my condition as melted my defenses even more allowing a release for the Magdalene pulse to flow down my left side to my ankle where Kuan Yin now focused her attention with reiki, hands raised, palms facing my left ankle.

I could feel the Magdalene love pouring and pulsing and filling down deep into my sacrum, the tip of my dragon tail bone, left hip and the flesh around my anus and perineum — massaging my early childhood sexual wound and melting through decades old contraction and constriction, loosening, restoring trust and opening into the flow of Divine Mother in the embrace of this wild Magdalene Shakti.

Suddenly, above them all were Isis wings. Mary Isis wrapped her wings around us all. I could feel the tip of her wings touch my lunar heart as my womb continued to feel the gentle rhythmic wild and sensual pulse of Mary Magdalene. My heart opening as my body arched, my knees falling open, my entire being opening to her love pouring into me.

Then Bastet’s head appeared above Isis, all of us like one large totem with me laying at the bottom under Mary Magdalene. Like Nut’s blanket canopy of stars, Isis sheltered and held us all in a sacred container of love as all Magdalenes of this lineage have done and continue to do.

As Mary Magdalene continued to pulse my womb, lifting her arms, her hands alive with grace, tilting her head back in rapturous innocent pleasure, increasing ecstatic rhythms and flowing intensities, I was being resurrected. I began to feel the serpentine waves ripple up my torso to my neck and head - another area that has typically restricted flow and movement which I’ve been working on opening along with my shoulders and heart and thymus. It is no mistake these areas are the twin of the womb, yoni, root and sacrum. To aid this release and melt into the flow of Shakti, Bastet rested her head on my neck and, nuzzling her head under my chin, she began purring, vibrating my bones and muscles and chi with her healing resonance.

Beautiful Mary continued to pulse and then began to bleed on my womb, gifting me with the pure essence of her life-giving womb blood stem cells. I wept again, tears of gratitude, relief, awe and wonder and love, wide open. The tears formed pools of water at the sides of my face as Mary’s drops of blood began to form a small pool on my womb before being absorbed into my body.

I didn’t expect to drop this deeply into this oceanic feminine realm during our opening circle with such a simple and super gentle body awareness practice as Pelvic Presence. The gifts I received from Mary Magdalene opened me up completely in preparation for the experience of rest and restoration I came here for —and experienced— throughout this beautiful and potent retreat. A rare gift to myself.

We must each take the time to receive love and take up the space in our lives for nurturing ourselves. There were so many gifts to receive during this retreat. Gifts waiting to be given when we are willing to surrender to the Divine Feminine flow. Mary Magdalene wants to help us, so we can help all life here on our Earth-Mother. This and all the experiences of this retreat, a sacred balm for my body and soul, rekindled my passion and devotion to this Womb Awakening work and reminded me why I have devoted my life to sharing this medicine.

Gratitude for all the lunar medicine Seren and Azra continue to share with the world. Gratitude for the gifts of Mary Magdalene. Thank you, Seren for birthing this Temple of Feminine Arts retreat I didn’t even know I needed so much.

Dance with Shadows Behind Shadows Underneath Ancient Armored Masks

Sat, 26 Aug 2017 12:22:08 GMT

by Rev. Dhyana Kluth

I keep thinking about a comment I made among a new circle of friends some years ago. It was a candid share about an observation I made about myself. I had made a judgement about someone based on superficial characteristics. The look on her face, the frustrated response she gave to her children, the lilt of her voice, her body language... I was aware the judgement that came into my thought was something I had inherited - and I talked to myself rationally about how she may have had her hands full with four children including an infant, or had some other pressures in her life. I bared my soul and shared this with these friends to reveal myself, to connect intimately, to talk about the shadows within the depths of our collective psyche and face them in the mirror of my community.

It is imperative to unpack these inherited notions about race and class, to dissect them and discover what their structure is founded upon: illusion.

There is no truth in race or class differences. I know this intellectually and in my bones and yet the conditioning that has been passed down through generations permeates even a conscious empath who has studied in depth the inner workings of the psyche and spirit. I am multi-ethnic and even I have been influenced by the inherited unfounded beliefs of white supremacists that have become embedded in the fabric of the illusion we perceive as reality, the reality of skewed interpretations of experience. Though I grew up in a multi-cultural city with friends from from all of the world, varied in race and religion and culture, even I was not immune to the influence of that insidious patriarchal wound.

As we became friendlier and deepened our conversations, I shared with my new suburban friends the notion that this woman I observed was perceived by me as "lower class" - knowing it was unfounded, feeling even the phrase was an elusive illusion that didn't quite fit the feeling behind the thought. What was the feeling? A fear? What was the thought? That I am better than she? The irony is, of course, I am not. Even more ironic, the family I inherited this un/conscious bias from, encoded in our DNA, were not of any class considered "high". They were farmers and then working class and then middle class. Whatever all those classifications mean. Rewards for conforming to the homogeneous group behavior. Steps in a system of patriarchy. In this case, the American Illusion. The dream is that the have-nots can have the pomp and circumstance of the wealthy elite. Yes, for a while people were able to improve their lives and some still do. More often than not we as a culture in America are left with empty displays of wealth, spending money to make other people rich, that leave us cash poor with our gold chains, expensive cars and the latest disposable fashions.

Though everything is deeply connected I digress from the introspective shadow work of revealing self-examination, of pulling apart these inner thoughts and questioning where they come from, do they have any validity, what are they a mask for, what is the shadow behind the shadow? Why are we left with a profound sorrow, grief, rage and insatiable dissatisfaction even when we have so much, when our lives are so seemingly full, with family and friends and material wealth?

Often the shadow of Fear is the backseat driver. Unconscious feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, despair and loneliness - a longing to be unconditionally loved and accepted - drive us to act out in anger upon another in the world, to judge others as "lower class" or subhuman; we disconnect from these uncomfortable feelings by disassociating from ourselves. And then we separate ourselves from others because not to do so would mean to identify ourselves in them and acknowledge all that we fear and loathe about ourselves.

Ironic isn't it? This is why we have waged war upon each other for centuries. The real war is within ourselves. As we make peace within we can count on seeing a difference in our interactions with others. And we mustn't be afraid to engage in these conversations! To be curious with a child-like innocence about ourselves and others; to reveal our true nature and be especially vulnerable with our friends and loved ones. We might loose a few friends along the way who don't want to go there but maybe it will be only for a season. In the long run allowing ourselves to become vulnerable will be our strength. As we dialogue and share from our authentic selves within our communities, the bonds that remain intact will become stronger and deepen our understanding, compassion, empathy and unconditional love for ourselves and each other. We stop perpetuating the wound of conditional love by loving unconditionally.

I could end this story here but feel a strong pull to take a closer look under that burdensome rock of Fear...

What is this insidious fear? Where does it come from? Why do I feel inhibiting paralyzing fear about certain things- doing certain things, taking particular actions? As I write I think on how generations of women have had so much reason to fear stepping out of line, into the spotlight. And we are part of the collective psyche attached to generations of slavery and the deeply rooted Fear and Rage encoded in the DNA behind the masks we wear. A quick google search of "women and children slavery" will offer your cellular memory a jolt with images of the injustice and brutality of historical and present day slavery, of women being separated from children, of white children finding their only life-giving nourishment from the breasts of loving slaves, of women being laughed at while being raped, of women in chains... Make no mistake thinking we are separate from that. As I have been mulling this over I've pondered the many fears I have - visceral body sensations of fear. I am tapping into a collective fear, not simply my own.

None of us is immune to the often untold truth of our history. We have all been touched by the wounds inflicted upon the oppressed for thousands of years. Even men grieve for their sisters, mothers and children. And whether or not our blood ancestors were the victims or perpetrators, whether willingly or unwillingly, spiritually and energetically there is nothing which separates us from the experiences of others and the shadows of these wounds are a memory in every cell in our body.

We reclaim our lightness of being, our joy, power and freedom when we face our dark history and offer loving balm to these shadows within us.

Many things I feel empowered by begin with seemingly nonsensical fear that cause me to hesitate before leaping but this fear is deeply rooted in generations of experience. I feel afraid of traveling as a woman alone with two very young daughters - fear of the horrors that have been perpetrated on women and young children for thousands of years; fear of the racial suspicion and hatred of anyone not of Aryan descent; fear of not being able to take care of myself alone without a man to ward of evil and protect me and the children if the car gets a flat tire in the middle of nowhere...

I am afraid even of seemingly simpler things like going surfing by myself - which I have done but still feel paralyzing fear about - or of buying a surfboard and talking to salespeople about what board to get! This Fear stops me in my tracks and takes some energy to unstick myself from. Fear of putting myself out there and being perceived as a lesser being because I am a woman and not completely white and blonde haired. A sense memory surfaces around this - growing up I had repeated feelings of being overlooked as a child and as a girl. Even within my family. And though I am not very dark skinned many have assumed me to be Latina and I have felt the palpable energetic difference of that perception. The personal experience compounding the collective experience.

Is this the Sisyphean Rock? The weight that keeps us from ever soaring above the mountain, maintaining the illusion that the best we can do is labor to the top of a mountain and never fly free? Fear. This shadow beneath the shadow, confines me. But each time I get closer to the fear, inadequacy, or judgement, lovingly and slowly building up my trust in myself, I perceive a deeper understanding of myself, dissolve the chains, unlock the doors and uncover more details about the truths that lay hidden behind the mask behind the veil of this mythological illusion.

It's so elusive. These hidden thoughts and feelings surface and retreat again. Leaving wisps of insight falling through the sieve of my fingers. Eventually, the bits start to form comprehensible images of what is hidden in these depths and a greater sense of understanding slowly emerges from the shadows into the light of love.

What to do with this abstract fear which paralyzes life flow? The barely conscious judgements that trigger our senses and creates static energy?

Move the energy. Shake. Yell. Scream. Rage. Dance. Sing. Most of all, face it. I know I must do the things I am afraid to do. To take back my power. For myself and for all women. I know I must bare my soul, remove the masks, develop deep authentic loving connections with people. For women and for all oppressed people - which is all of us! None of us is free in a wounded patriarchal system. I must speak up to make just what is unjust. I must look myself in the eyes. One deep downward breath at a time.

What kind of world would it be if everyone shed our heavy armor and removed the masks we all see through anyway? Can we trust ourselves enough to trust others that much? To be vulnerable in our nakedness, without our armor, without the defenses that protect those hidden soft tender sensitive areas. If we gently keep digging deeper, walking into the dark abyss and seeing all clearly and knowing the truth of every thought, feeling, impulse, concern, instinct, love... (This is what we do when we connect to our womb and hara, the creative source, the darkness within, the primordial energy that births all, where seeds are planted and birthed into being, where we make manifest our ideas, thoughts, feelings, relationships, projects, stories, communities, our world.)

Would knowing myself this intimately allow me to feel safe enough to remain embodied in my experiences, and repair the fragmented paralyzing separation I sometimes feel? Yes, eventually, and it will not only allow this inner union, it will organically open myself into authentic relationships and connection to my community, and a deeper, more intimate union with my beloved. With continued nurturing love, gently and slowly, keeping pace with my felt sense of safety, I melt through all my resistances.

The static energy we create by unjustly judging others and resisting connection, and the paralysis we feel as fear exerts its control over us, creates a powerful invisible ripple effect, creating a rift in surrounding relationships, inhibiting life from flowing in effortless expansion and contraction as it is meant to flow, as a fluid as baby's breath.

We are all connected in this dance of energy. Every thought we have affects others and every loving act of kindness we offer ourselves is a loving act of kindness toward the universe and life itself. In our return to innocence, our natural and true state of being, the primordial creative state of existence, we let go of all that holds us back, all that keeps us separated from ourselves and each other, and begin to embody the experience that all is love. Even the scary shadows in the deepest darkest crevasses of our psyche. They can be monstrous or become playful in their innocence as we embrace the truth at the core.

I am the blood of the earth
I am the womb of creation
I am the flow of the spirit
My body is the universe
-Peroquois

Inanna Rakhma

Art credits: Mirror mask by Inertia Rose, Behind the mask by Shiny-Shadows-Art, Masked by RankaStevic, Girl with the mask by CindysAart, Removing My Mask by JennaDellaGrottaglia. Please comment if you know the credit for any image credits not found or mentioned. With gratitude <3

Womb Awakening: The Magical Science of the Sacred Feminine Revolution

Sun, 13 Aug 2017 20:35:10 GMT

Posted by Rev. Dhyana Kluth via Azra Betrand

LIVE INTERVIEW ~ Monday, August 14, 6pm Eastern ~
Womb Awakening: The Magical Science of the Sacred Feminine Revolution
A paradigm-shattering new science of the sacred feminine is being birthed. Menstrual stem cells, telepathy, the mother consciousness of the cerebellum, epigenetics of love, Akashic memory, quantum coherence fields of sacred relationship …

Our bodies, and the world of physical matter, contain the deepest magic – and this is now being proven by modern science. Come learn about this beautiful new world of possibility, as explored in the new “Womb Awakening” book.
Azra Bertrand, MD is co-founder and director of The Fountain of Life Grail Mystery School, and author of the groundbreaking new book “Womb Awakening: Initiatory Wisdom from the Creatrix of All Life” along with his wife Seren Bertrand. The Womb Awakening book has been praised by New York Times bestselling authors, described as a “masterwork of beauty, power and mystical truth”, a “mystery school in a book” and a “magical sacred feminine transmission.”

Azra graduated from Duke University School of Medicine, and has been a pioneering doctor, alchemical scientist, and spiritual guide for 20 years. He is an evolutionary enchanter, dedicated to helping women awaken their Womb Power and to assisting the rebirth of the masculine into his true gifts, uniting them both in Sacred Union. Immersed in the study and shamanic practice of Womb Consciousness, he draws on rich veins of wisdom from many traditions, and has assisted over 25,000 people to heal on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
www.TheFountainOfLife.org
To listen live go to: www.centeroflightradio.com. Or, you can go to the app store on your phone and download the INCEPTION RADIO NETWORK app for FREE! To call into the show live call: 888.919.2355. For the chat room visit: irnchat.com. To listen to the archives: irnshows.com
~ Power UP & Spread the Light ~

Rattling the Cage and Gently Opening the Door

Sun, 23 Jul 2017 16:06:02 GMT

by Rev. Dhyana Kluth

I had a dream about Womb Awakening while my husband and I cuddled and dozed off this morning ...

I was on the wooden floor of a spacious cozy room. One of my teachers, Irma StarSprit, was giving out medicine bundles after a class and my six-year-old daughter wanted one of the goats' toenail rattles. As I was asking Irma if we could have one too, a gourd rattle that my daughter and I were also interested in popped out of the pile and hopped over to me.

A guy (who earlier in the dream was represented by my husband) was talking about Womb Awakening with a beloved spiritual sister, Nat Love. They were reclined on pillows in the middle of the room with us, and he was talking about opening, softening and releasing.

I got the impression at first that he was business-minded, scientific and worked in a more masculine field than feminine creativity. Then he was stood up, and with the palms of his hands he rubbed the sore hernia areas on both sides where the ovaries would be in a woman.

Next he had undergone a transformation, and with his back (our feminine consciousness) to me I could see he now had longer blonde hair and was talking about how he plays guitar in a rock band (feminine creative life force manifest).

I woke up as I was opening the shades and pulling back the curtains around the sun-lit room in the dream...

I've been very conscious about bringing my inner masculine into balance with the feminine lately. It's been many years journeying to this point.

Five years ago my focus was "opening my heart" which a year or so later gave me a clearer awareness of myself as I began "acknowledging that I am judgmental". I began to see how harshly I judged myself all the time, and thus how I projected that onto my kids.

My intention over last year or so of "not yelling at my kids" has brought me to the current understanding that the polarity I witness in the world outside of myself is represented in my relationship with my children (especially the

young six-year-old). She holds a great mirror up to me and shows me my own inner six-year-old.

I see and understand clearly now how as a mother I express so much of the oppressive masculine paradigm upon the divine feminine of my daughters - especially my six-year-old's great big feelings which my nervous system struggles to tolerate, to feel safe with and hold sacred space for.

My inner six-year-old went into hiding, out of shame, self-preservation and protection, fear, confusion, humiliation, despair and longing for love and acceptance. This hiding place became a prison over the years.

Here I am at yet another cycle of the tireless spiral.

Softening once again to let go of the deepest layers of my armor (see related archived article on the subject of laying down our swords).

Daring to awaken the deeply buried seed in my womb, to touch all my own big feelings - some ancient and overwhelming to feel - to reclaim the divine feminine at my protected six-year-old core.

Recently I went to see a friend play the blues and was so moved I felt called to get up and dance but could only rattle the bars of my cage! I stood up and sat down a dozen times before finally getting on the dance floor! And still I was imprisoned within my self-consciousness and the terror of my sensuality that keeps yearning to be fully embodied lately.

I am making progress.

Deeper and deeper, I go.

Shedding layer by thin, tough layer.

Over the days and decades.

Removing more and more armor as I am ready to be fully seen.

Conscious and embodied in all the pristine innocence of my divine being.

Slowly emerging from the dream of sleep.

Awakening Our Co-Creative Power by Observation

Tue, 20 Jun 2017 15:11:32 GMT

Posted by Rev. Dhyana Kluth

I want to share with you an article my husband wrote, Observing the Universe. The scientific insight in the article he cites is a profound awakening for the modern "civilized" man. Indigenous shamans and ancient cultures around the world understood this at the dawn of awareness long before science figured out a way to understand it.

Have you ever wondered why things don't always work out the way you want them to? Why there is so much hatred within man? So much to despair? We have more influence to change this than modern man conceived. But it doesn't require brute force.

"Everything in the universe is within. Ask all from yourself" ~Rumi

We are being called to look deeper within, where the universe is mirrored. Any change that occurs within is acted out upon the world without. You can look at it as a kind of butterfly effect.

It is understood as scientific fact that no thing separates us from anything in the universe. We are all part of a thread connected to the fabric of existence, connected to all. The space between I and Thou is not visible to the naked eye but, it doesn't mean there isn't anything there. I'm sure you've felt it. That electrical charge when someone looks your way as they pass by. Or the gut punch when you find out someone you respect and care about has said something deeply hurtful about you. Nothing physically touched you in the visual sense, but we are touched by invisible energy all around us, all the time. We are one.

Our thoughts are an example of the invisible energy that can take on denser form and reside in our being and be projected out into the universe. Do we emit nectar or poison? We manifest nothing material without first planting the invisible seed into our creative nest, our womb - or hara (in men). We can choose to merge our creative power with our heart center to manifest fully balanced loving creations and relationships. The alternative is what we have seen far too much of on this planet. Lots of abusive neglectful power with very little loving nurturing kindness.

There have been a plethora of scientific reports and various publications about the health benefits of mindfulness and meditation practices. When we allow ourselves to breath space between our thoughts and actions, not only does our suffering cease but possibilities become limitless. Essentially we are tuning into the frequency of primordial creation, the womb space of the universe within our consciousness.

Fred Kluth makes deep connections in his article below about the endless possibilities of becoming active conscious gardeners of our lives and our planet to awaken the beauty of the universe that lives within and all around us. There are as many ways to do this as there are living beings. Focus on loving intention and tuning into that primordial creative feminine frequency. I'm not saying it's easy for everyone. It isn't for many. Allow yourself to soften into the experience. Let go of the clutter that no longer serves you and the planet and we will all continue to heal the wounds of patriarchy, collectively.

Observing the Universe

By Fred Kluth

I read an article on a mainstream news site questioning whether the universe has consciousness and indicating according to quantum theory, that something changes when it is observed. In addition, scientists are considering that we can actually be awakening the consciousness of the universe by observing it.

Observing in itself should be a passive scientific activity but it might not always the case and the idea that by observing something we are changing it, what if we are observing the universe as a vast hostile environment or a place of life, peace and abundance. Does this influence the universe?

Just as if you are doing self-examination and you are consciously/unconsciously observing or projecting feelings of hostility or negativity on yourself, you can often observe your actions as something negative, which affects your self image and how you operate in the world

Just as the Cherokee story of the grandfather and the two wolves. We have two wolves within each of us, Grandfather tells his grandson, who are in battle. One wolf is full of anger, violence and jealousy, he will attack his kin to get the last scrap of meat. He is mean and has a terrible nature. And there is another wolf who is kind and loving, who looks out for his brother with love and peace. "Which wolf is the strongest, Grandfather?", the grandson asks. The one which you feed says the grandfather.

Many newspapers will do their best to report the facts. But many times the newspapers will write stories and edit them, not only to spread the owner’s point of view but also by what stories get the most clicks and people sharing on social media. This will influence the types of stories the newspapers publish and helps them choose which to put money behind to promote in order to drive people to their sites and boost ad revenue.. This will influence the reader’s world view and in turn influence the world. What we observe in the world, changes our world and the energy we put into our lives can influence what types of changes these will be for us. It might make us feel fear and stress and when we are in a state of distress we might act in unkind ways to those around us.

We cannot all be cosmic observers, gazing through quantum telescopes but we can be mindful about the types of stories we share and click on and consume, we can hold ourselves with peace, love and forgiveness. We can develop daily practices that help us get to the place where we can feel peace and love, and at least be aware of our feelings when we are feeling conflicted, angry and in pain and trying to allow us to forgive ourselves. Knowing we are trying to do the best we can with the tools we have learned to use.

If we can create a bit more peace in our hearts, consciously observe the strengths we have and the strengths and love we have in the others around us, perhaps it can help awaken better parts in ourselves and each other. Making our universe a better place.

Article Sited: (https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/universe-conscious-ncna772956)