This past week I had been feeling so much pain and suffering. Feeling really depressed and wanting external validation and longing for tender loving care and consideration. I trembled at the thought of what would happen if I were to reveal how vulnerable I feel right now. Being seen in my vulnerability has been an especially delicate balance because of the nature of the work I do - my perception of the work I do with people. I experienced my thoughts, about what 'who I am' should look like, confining and imprisoning me. Psychologically and spiritually quarantined. I am a mother. My life consists primarily of meeting the needs of my children, and all the tangential time-consuming tasks related to their well-being. During the time I carve out for myself I focus on continuing my growth as an embodied spirit. For over a decade, I have been working with the themes of Trust and Control - and how these pertain to both my inner world and my relationships. Years later, I am still working with Trust and letting go of Control - even after studying and becoming a practicing minister, psychospiritual therapist, womb awakening mentor/priestess/facilitator, mindfulness meditation teacher, and essentially being a perpetual student of mind and body and spirit, All of these defining descriptions about who I am do not really matter. Except that they impose limits on the limitless possibilities of being and becoming - as long as I think they do. The evolutionary shift out of this powerful spiraling journey came as I chose to move toward that pain and suffering, to be seen by friends in my community and online circles. I dove in, felt it all, surrendered to the Divine Feminine, removed my mask, embraced my self, and then I felt better. This is what happens when we face the monster rearing its ugly head (there is so much judgement and fear in those well-known words): the monster and the fear are transformed and transmuted. No longer viscerally frightened about fully being seen, here I am and this is my experience...
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April 2020
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Carol, Aine and Dhyana are Womb Priestesses and Fountain of Life teachers and mentors who love the path of motherhood, dancing, shamanism, creative living and sisterhood. |