Diving into Feminine Darkness: An Unexpected Invitation During Quarantine

This past week I had been feeling so much pain and suffering. Feeling really depressed and wanting external validation and longing for tender loving care and consideration.  I trembled at the thought of what would happen if I were to reveal how vulnerable I feel right now.  Being seen in my vulnerability has been an especially delicate balance because of the nature of the work I do - my perception of the work I do with people.   I experienced my thoughts, about what 'who I am' should look like, confining and imprisoning me.  Psychologically and spiritually quarantined. 

​I am a mother.  My life consists primarily of meeting the needs of my children, and all the tangential time-consuming tasks related to their well-being.  During the time I carve out for myself I focus on continuing my growth as an embodied spirit.  For over a decade, I have been working with the themes of Trust and Control - and how these pertain to both my inner world and my relationships. 

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​Years later, I am still working with Trust and letting go of Control - even after studying and becoming a practicing minister, psychospiritual therapist, womb awakening mentor/priestess/facilitator, mindfulness meditation teacher, and essentially being a perpetual student of mind and body and spirit, ​ All of these defining descriptions about who I am do not really matter. ​  Except that they impose limits on the limitless possibilities of being and becoming - as long as I think they do. 

The evolutionary shift out of this powerful spiraling journey came as I chose to move toward that pain and suffering, to be seen by friends in my community and online circles.  I dove in, felt it all, surrendered to the Divine Feminine, removed my mask, embraced my self, and then I felt better.  This is what happens when we face the monster rearing its ugly head (there is so much judgement and fear in those well-known words): the monster and the fear are transformed and transmuted.
No longer viscerally frightened about fully being seen, here I am and this is my experience...

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