Rattling the Cage and Gently Opening the Door

by Rev. Dhyana Kluth

I had a dream about Womb Awakening while my husband and I cuddled and dozed off this morning ...

I was on the wooden floor of a spacious cozy room. One of my teachers, Irma StarSprit, was giving out medicine bundles after a class and my six-year-old daughter wanted one of the goats' toenail rattles. As I was asking Irma if we could have one too, a gourd rattle that my daughter and I were also interested in popped out of the pile and hopped over to me.

​A guy (who earlier in the dream was represented by my husband) was talking about Womb Awakening with a beloved spiritual sister, Nat Love. They were reclined on pillows in the middle of the room with us, and he was talking about opening, softening and releasing.

I got the impression at first that he was business-minded, scientific and worked in a more masculine field than feminine creativity. Then he was stood up, and with the palms of his hands he rubbed the sore hernia areas on both sides where the ovaries would be in a woman.

Next he had undergone a transformation, and with his back (our feminine consciousness) to me I could see he now had longer blonde hair and was talking about how he plays guitar in a rock band (feminine creative life force manifest).

I woke up as I was opening the shades and pulling back the curtains around the sun-lit room in the dream...

I've been very conscious about bringing my inner masculine into balance with the feminine lately. It's been many years journeying to this point.

Five years ago my focus was "opening my heart" which a year or so later gave me a clearer awareness of myself as I began "acknowledging that I am judgmental". I began to see how harshly I judged myself all the time, and thus how I projected that onto my kids.

My intention over last year or so of "not yelling at my kids" has brought me to the current understanding that the polarity I witness in the world outside of myself is represented in my relationship with my children (especially the

young six-year-old). She holds a great mirror up to me and shows me my own inner six-year-old.

I see and understand clearly now how as a mother I express so much of the oppressive masculine paradigm upon the divine feminine of my daughters - especially my six-year-old's great big feelings which my nervous system struggles to tolerate, to feel safe with and hold sacred space for.

My inner six-year-old went into hiding, out of shame, self-preservation and protection, fear, confusion, humiliation, despair and longing for love and acceptance. This hiding place became a prison over the years.

Here I am at yet another cycle of the tireless spiral. 

Softening once again to let go of the deepest layers of my armor (see related archived article on the subject of laying down our swords).

Daring to awaken the deeply buried seed in my womb, to touch all my own big feelings - some ancient and overwhelming to feel - to reclaim the divine feminine at my protected six-year-old core.

Recently I went to see a friend play the blues and was so moved I felt called to get up and dance but could only rattle the bars of my cage! I stood up and sat down a dozen times before finally getting on the dance floor! And still I was imprisoned within my self-consciousness and the terror of my sensuality that keeps yearning to be fully embodied lately.

I am making progress.

Deeper and deeper, I go.

Shedding layer by thin, tough layer.

Over the days and decades.

Removing more and more armor as I am ready to be fully seen.

Conscious and embodied in all the pristine innocence of my divine being. 

Slowly emerging from the dream of sleep.